Wednesday, February 3, 2016

All i ever wanted

You were my everything, all I ever needed
You left me broke you left me felt so cheated
Now you all gone, you disappeared
I've never felt so left so broke so feared

I needed your love, I needed your touch
Was it all fake? Did I wanted too much
You are always on my mind
And our love is still blind

You looked inside my eyes so sincerely
I saw everything more clearly
You made me feel so, so lonely
Even when we got more closely
You gave me the word. I was the only one
Then I pulled the trigger, you gave me the gun

More lies and more eyes are blended in hun
Everybody judging it ain't no fun
I peg you, I really peg you please
Just please, for me, get on your knees
Tell me the truth, like in Eminem's song
“U got one one chance, one opportunity” so don't use it wrong

Only for you I got feelings like these
And you think i'm cheating, babe please!
You got me crying got me writing this shit down
Probably for you and your friends I look like a fucking clown
I know you read this with your ex girlfriend
You laughing as you holding her hand

There's nothing else I could do
Everything I say, you think it ain't true
I've been trying and crying and crying and trying
But now it just feels like everything'd trough, it feels like i'm dying

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Couldn't keep it in

I'm very superstitious. I believe in horoscope and life after death and karma and all sorts. That's probably why I accept the shit what is going on lately and haven't lost my mind and freaked the fuck out totally. Have you ever thought about what is your mission in this present life?
Im pretty sure my mission is to learn to trust the right people. Or discredit everyone and only trust myself. Will fabricate over this one. 
Other thing what haunts me is karma probably. Few years ago i did hurt someone really really bad. And actually i think about it everyday. What we both did wrong and how did it go that far. Probably we both were young and dumb and reckless. I thought i was so over it cause it was years ago and we all have moved on with our lives. But sometimes theres other prospects in the game and you just can't fucking accept it even when you try really bad. 
Now seems like all this shit starts to catch up with me… Thats just too much even for me to handle. When the person who meant the world to me once and the other person who i trusted like 10000000% and who was my best friend ever both fucking stabbed me in the back hardcore. 
I didn't wanna lose my best friend and when she betrayed me like the shittiest way you can imagine and i assured to her that its okey and whatever she did won't affect our friendship because she said she wasn't right at that time and it will not ever happen again.
But you know how they say..fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. So imma dummy. 

Friday, November 28, 2014

long story short..or is it?

Sorry for some typos cause that auto correct sometimes "corrects" the words i mean to the words i didn't mean. fuck me right?

Havent written anything for long time. Been like….soooooo busy. Ok who I'm kidding. I've been pretty much sitting on my ass all day everyday doing nothing. Not even writing my blog cause theres not much to write about. There has been couple of cases i can point out and talk about. They old as too but if you not informed enough then after that blog u will be.

Latest post is about when i was still working at Skysmoke and i had this weird wizard guy coming over the shop..anyway they even made a news about that haha. Funny as. I wasn't the only one who got asked for money for his bullshit.

Well yea thats probably not so cool story..i have some other ones too.
For example I've got some new tattoos. The first one i got ages ago is on my upper arm and aroung my elbow auch. Its a skull and japanese waves. To blend it in to my sleeve. Its Pretty cool and made by Rolts of course.

Its old news already..but i haven't talked about it here so here it goes..
I got called in by one really talented and famous photographer Mats Õun, for a sort of a pin-up/vintage/retro style nude photoshoot. So i was all in cause hey.. thats pretty much all i do these days.. show off my great pair of boobs hahaha.
Well yea the photoshoot was really cool. Was little bit scary too cause there were cameras taping all that for a tv show. So i was little bit scared that Omg if my granny sees me naked she will be sad or upset or something. But it was for art and it was really nice photo we took and actually she said i was really pretty on that photo. And she was happy for me. Cute!

So here's the TV-Show clip about the shoot:
Vaata kuidas valmib retrostiilis aktifoto

Thats the photo what came out the best :

And thats the other photo i really liked:

Thats the photo we took with the operator and the news anchor:

That same news went up to Elu24 news site too. And it was funny to read the comments there. Sometimes i like to read mean comments about myself to keep me going. To keep me trying to be better and stronger. And there's always HATERS always. And thats funny..cause i so feel sorry for them.

Heres the news link:
Vaata kuidas valmib üks tõeliselt kena retrostiilis aktifoto

Pretty good overview in case you didn't know much about that shoot. That was for the photographers art exhibition what was coming up and the promo news clip for it. What was really weird..was that..the news was about the Artist and his upcoming event but all the comments about the news were about my boobs or tattoos.
Thats how most Estonians are..they take something out of the context and start bragging about it what wasn't even a point. Who the fuck cares if i have real or fake boobs. Why the fuck this matters anyways? It was just a photoshoot not a "Looking for a baby-mama" tv show. Like u wouldn't have a change with me anyways so why do you still care how real i am? WTF?
Anyway yea funny lol.
So that was my first time on national tv and i was naked..phaha good on me.
Second time wasn't much different..haha
Anyway yea my friend shared me some casting call to "Viimane Võmm" (The last cop) shoot. So i sent my photos to them and they contacted me and told me what i have to bring and where i have to come and when.
Soooo i had to be a stripper. haha. That went well. It was actually really funny couple of hours whit the movie group and the actors. The movie shoot took place in a gayclub. There was one POLE! and i looove the poles! So they asked me to do couple of tricks and dance around the pole. When i did that, they were so exited and happy what i did on the pole altho i did just couple of basic tricks. And the actor couldn't handle their text cause they forgot themselves and watched what I'm doing on the pole. Little distraction. Hah. But after 2 hours we got that little 5 minute senario together and now I'm waiting for it to come out. Actually I'm scared too cause i wore like g-strings and see-through dress..yaix!
Don't have any photos of that day :(
Well i do have photos of that same night when after that i went out to NOORUS cafe where my friend works. I went just by myself to have quiet night..
My plan was to sit in the bar and have couple of drinks. Didn't thought i end up motherfucking was all my friends Jane's fault..she pulled me shots every time someone bought shots. God dam! And then i met this guy who was working there too and he did the same. What a sweethearts!
Anyway at first i was all cute and cuddle

And then shit got serious.. My Friend Gert was photographer at that party and i asked him to take a photo of my boobs and i don't know if other ppl who were there thought i was famous or something and asked to take photos together and then someone took photos of that when Gert was taking photos of me with all these people haha. These photos were taken through fish-eye lens so thats why my boobs look so big. they not that big actually. 

Great party! I saw one of my childhoods bully at that party. He was all like "Omggg u are soo pretty how ya doing..lets roll a joint..u've so changed" and all that crap he said..
I was just like "meh..well thanks but you are exactly the same rap rag like i remember"
He couldn't remember being mean to me when we went to school together but i said some things he said to me and he was sorry and all that. I feel little bit bad that i was mean to him at that part and didn't really wanna hear what he had to say. But well..meeh. fuck it. Not a big loss..
What else has been happening.. Oh Rolts the man got me new awesome tattoo. It was like the worst pain ever. The most painful tattoo i think so far. I got it done on my stomach. theres wings and crown and the writing "Lust". It suits there perfectly.

I had one other shoot couple of weeks ago with my pretty little kitty Biti. It was for charity. For MTÜ animals shelter. They put my photo up to their 2015 calendar and all the profit goes to the kitties! It was again with my favourite photographer Mats Õun. Big thanks to him. And big thanks to my friend Sten who helped me with Biti and lent him to me for the shoot.

So much naked skin. lol , That shoot was so difficult cause Biti didn't wanna pose and it was really hard for me to concentrate to myself to look good and the same time to hold the cat still and he wanted to take off all the time and scratched me lil bit. khihi. But nothing serious. Hope the shelter will find one photo what came out ok and they can use it. Hopefully.

One really funny thing took place too. Phaha. Anyway..i was chatting with my friend and he was like
"Do you like reading mean comments about yourself?"
I said: "of course, thats funny.. zup?" and he sent me one internet site link. Where someone had shared my Instagram link. and the comments below were so really mean :D.
I think thats hilarious to read shit what other people saying when they have never even met you and all the sudden they know everything about your life
Here's the link where they discuss how big slut i am and where i live and that all my photos are photoshopped cause my face is so fucked up cause i use so much make up and I'm such a slut that i use fake photos and on and on..funny how they know all about that. hahaha

It nurk - marimum on instagram

Anyway yea i made a screenshot of it and put it up to my Instagram and then one day later someone shared that screenshot on that "It nurk" website again and there was more hate coming.. about that i can't handle the truth about myself and I'm so slut putting my instagram on private. and on and on..

It nurk on marimumms Instagram 

We'll yea altho all this comments were good laugh i was lil bit upset and told my friend about it. That some shit like that is on the internet and why ppl do that..and he was such an help telling me all the good things and made me open my ayes about how most people think and live and why they say these things and what they think when they comment like that. So i felt way better after that. Cleared my head up little bit.

Im fucking happy with my life and thats whats life is all about ae..BEING HAPPY! :))

And one more events took place. When Iris came back. God dam that girl! Ive been pretty much seeing her everyday since she came back. I don't understand how did we survived when we didn't see each other over 2 years?!?!?!?!!
Anyway it was her Birthday/coming home party. And as usual we celebrate it at Rooftop Cafe. Its like the second home. We always hang around there and get on the peoples nerves and talk bullshit an keep the biggest table in the house occupied and we never leave before 2 am..even if they close at 1 am on the weekdays. We always eat heaps snacks and drink tea and smoke hookah like all night long and our tab never goes retard. We always leave almost as rich as we got there haha.
Anyway yea it was Iris's birthday party one saturday night. I got there all  dressed up. And i was scared to take my coat off cause i had this top where u can see through little bit.

Didn't do many photos that night cause my phone camera is bullshit and i forgot to bring my flash camera. So yea the party was actually really quiet cause so many ppl didn't show up who promised to be there. Fockn wankers. But i was there for her and that was all she needed. Haha. Omg i just remember I'm such a bad friend i didn't even got her a present. I had some reason for that too probably but i can't remember anymore. Fuck. Probably have to too better xmas present then.
Anyway we got drunk aaaas and then there was some guys wanted to take photos with us cause we were so pretty and they were tourists and they wanted to show their friends that they had good times with some pretty girls altho they didn't have any time with us haha. Funny.
We closed up and we waited for one friend to finish work and then we went to the Protest cause it was only place open that time. Altho its sort of hipsters place we still went there. I saw one lonely sad girl sitting in the corner of the couch we were sitting. So i went to talk to her and asked if she's okey and why she's so sad and alone haha.
She was like "Oh so you that girl who is little bit too naked on Instagram  for Estonians point of view"
I was laughing "Oh haha i guess so"
She said "Well u know i respect what u trying to do and that you're so one else does really that here"
And then we talked quite long about that how most people think I'm like a blow up doll and stupid and i blabla and then she was like " know..i didn't think much of you before i met you. Now i think you're pretty cool actually"
I was little bit flattered. It was good to hear nice words from strange girl.
We drank Henry Westholms lil bit and then we got hungry..all of us. So we took a taxi and went to Loca to eat something. Loca is sort of a fast food restaurant. Not really fancy haha. But they serve good pizza there.
We went there and our friend bought us pizza. I invited that girl too i met at Protest We went to sit town and then that girl suddenly started to give attitude to Iris which wasn't really okey. I was quite upset cause i liked that girl but when she started to be mean to my best friend i had to leave her there.
She put her feet on the table and iris and rest of the guys told her off like
"you don't put you feet where you eat..ur not at home..and even at home i doubt u do that"
And she was giving everybody that bullshit that she doesn't care and whatever.
And then she started to be mean to iris like Iris had this white dress on which was really pretty and she said: "Yea ur coming to that place with your white dress on, who comes to Loca with white dress on?!"
Iris was like: "Omg i didn't dress up for Loca..I had a birthday party at Rooftop Cafe, i don't bring like different outfits when I'm going out..that maybe I'm going to the club or maybe to the restaurant or whatever like wtf?"
And she was still giving shit to Iris and one out our friend was sick of it and left. And when we had enough and went out looking for him he was gone already and we took a cab and went to my place. It was like 9:30 am when we got to my place haha.
Well then we went to have a little nap and we woke up around 3 pm and then we went back to Rooftop cafe cause Iris left all her gifts and flowers and shit there. We went there to get these. We ordered soup and tea as always.
And at firs we sat down on the table we always sit in front of the bar. And then Iris was like.."Fuck i can't stand that light..its too bright" and then we went to sit town the other table where we sit last night. And i was cuddling around the pillows and found one envelope with 40 euros in there..i was like "oh Iris seems like we can pay for our tab today" haha

So other news from last week. I went to cosmetician on Friday to get acid treatment for my face. Ive been thinking about it for long time because i have some scars and i wanted to treat them somehow. I though about laser treatment but its basically same as acid scrub treatment but laser takes longer time and you have to get it more often. Acid treatment you can only do once a year. 

So the procedure was really painful! She put the acid on my face with a cotton tip. Really carefully and it was still so sore. It took like a hour to cover my face. After that procedure my face was covered with white acid. And then after a hour it turned red and it was sore the whole first day. But i still couldn't stand a thought staying at home on FRIDAY NIGHT!!?! But i didn't dressed up ause i was like..when I'm gonna dress up then definitely I'm gonna be like "yay lets go to the cluuub!!" So i just wore my sweatpants. Swagger jagger.

So i went over to my friends house. At first she was like.. "yea we having a quiet wine night" but when i got there..there was heaps of people drinking whiskey and wine . There was more people coming later. By the end of the night everybody were so drunk and stupid and who cried who made stupid promises and so much of a quiet night.
Next day when i woke up i made breakfast for us. Im such a good friend. Altho all she had in the fridge was best before so we only had eggs. So i made a omelette with water. It was okey.. well..with heaps of ketchup.
My face was fucked up. I tried to cover it with my scarf..but i still looked like i was shooting some kind of drug..that crocodile or something hah. I called taxi and went to the other cosmetician to get my eyelashes done. She thought at first that its so cold outside cause my scarf was wrapped around my head so you could only see my eyes. 

After i got my eyelashes done I tried to stay at home on saturday night. I think i probably did cause i can't remember what happened on saturday. I was waiting forward for my appointment with Rolts. We agreed we gonna meet around 12. He had a consultation with some other costumers at 12 so i came around after that cause i didn't really want no one to see me with that burnt face. Rolts knew bout it and made fun of me but strangers might think that maybe i look like that all the time lol. And then its gonna be more shit about me somewhere that "oh blabla that sluts a monster blabla". Haha. Anyway yea we decided to cover up my hand tattoos cause when i went to have this consultation with one doctor about removing my tattoos he said that they can't remove these properly and its gona take really long time. Probably i have to do this like at least 7 times. So to remove these will take the whole year and then another year tho heal properly and then i can make something else on it. So thats fucking long time and ain't nobody got time for that. 
We decided to make Onimask on my right hand. Cause i have this japanese sleeve going on there. So it's pretty suitable. 
So this was the hideous hand tattoo before Rolts did the magic. 

Everytime u cover up some tattoo its more painful than last time. So my hand is now been through 3 tattoo artists. outlines were algood but when we shaded in it was sooooo sore. I was like a bitch whining. But Rolts my man is used to it. Everytime i hate him when he hurts me but i always love him afterwords cause he does such a good job :D but this was just the first session..we gotta do couple more to fully cover the swallow. Right now it still glows through.
Anyway if you wanna get yourself booked in then you can do it by the mail or you can contact him through the Facebook. He doesn't have much photos of his done jobs cause he's a lazy photographer. I'm giving him hard time that he needs to put good photos up for money and fame haha
Tattoos by Roland 

My hand was so swollen up that i even lost my knuckles for couple of days. Obvious. But this is just the beginning. We need to do it again and again and again and then we need to fix my forearm too little bit. Changed the background. Its blue and it has this really poor lines between the waves. We gonna make them black so it will go with rest of my sleeve.
So thats how i was for many days. Like a handicap. My face was falling off and my hand wasn't much of a help. Pretty rough but own fault. I did this to myself. Now i gotta suffer.

On monday i looked so shit that i really didn't wanna leave the house..even to go to the shop which is like 50 meters from my house. So i asked my friend Kristina to come over and bring me some tattoo moisturiser cause i just ran out. So she did. Awwww! And then after she left later on i totally started to crave for chocolate. I couldn't stunt the thought that I'm not gonna eat chocolate or at least gingerbread tonight. So i started to talk to my other good friend Iris. She was just arriving back to Tallinn from the county sector haha. So i asked her immediately come aroun and bring me chocolate. That bitch was hungry so i made her a wrap. And she bought me sale chocolate what a cheep rat!!!! :D but i still love her so much and I'm so happy she's back from Australia. 
On Tuesday i had to leave the house again cause i had the hairdressers appointment. For my luck its in Oldtown really near to my apartment. So i had to be on public only for 5 minutes. Sick of explaining to everyone what happened to my face ae. I wish all the people would know that I'm peeling skin cause i had beauty treatment. Would be so much easier. I look like a fucking frog.
Anyway yea the hairdresser vdid such a good job as always. And she does dreadlocks and piercings too so if u interested or just wanna have good hair day hook this place up
Elegance salon 

Wednesday i looked even worse omg can't get over it already ae. But i had to levee the house once again god dam. This time i hd my nail appointment. I'm starting to think like wtf..i have some appointments everyday. i should just have someone to come over to my place to get everything done i would be so happy. Especially times like that..when I'm peeling skin and i just wanna hide in my cave.
Anyway i still had to go there and there was so man people. Hairdresser, nail technicians, costumers and all sorts..i was just like "umm when I'm gonna take my scarf off don't run away okey"

So yea got my nails done, we did them pretty basic and natural and pretty. But quite long tho. Its still hard to type with these nails but they pretty! I got them done by one of the girl who were quite new there cause i slept in to my tuesdays appointment when i had the appointment with the best o the bestest nail technician, what a wanter i am…but this other girl she still did pretty decent job. It took quite long time but hey..i didn't have anything better to do anyways besides sitting on my ass at home. So if u wanna have cool new hairstyle or pretty nails or pretty eyelashes or wanna get rid of your annoying bodyhair.. Pretty much everything what goes under BEAUTY they can do!

Yesterday - Thursday i went to have dinner at my friends house. Luckily i didn't have to go out cause they came to pick me up. So we ate so much. We ate so much snacks before real food and then we ate the real food and then some gingerbread and some sweets and had couple of drinks too. Teeles special. Prosecco with OJ and ice. It was really good actually. When its summer it would've been awesome drink but its winter here lol. 

So on my way back home this morning i heard this fucking weird song on the radio. There was this morning program on R2. And they choose out the worst song.. so todays worst song was 
"Love Inside my Loveliness - First time" OMG
This is actually the fucking funniest song I've ever heard..if these guys did this song with sarcasm. But if they were formal then i just can't believe it hahahahahah..fuck. I wish all of you speak Estonian so you could understand that song. I really wanna meet these guys who made song like that :'DDDD LOL  funny as shit. Im not posting this here to make fun of them but this shits just funny..

Today I've been home since i got here, try to hide in my cave..hiding from society.  The worst thing about that is that I'm eating heaps now. I eat so much  cause I'm so fucking bored and i can't really work out too. Not allowed to work out for 2 weeks. Because when i start to sweat and for example my face starts to sweat then the acid might go to my eyes or somewhere it not suppose to go. Its hard doing nothing. I should by myself a scale. But they probably i don't wanna step on scared of the truth. Ignorance is my weapon. I'll be fine. Soon i don't have money to buy myself food.. Cause i've been making it rain at spas makes me sick. The sickest thin is that i can't work for 2 weeks like this god damn  and i have to go to Finland to my nephews first birthday. Cant wait to see my fam! 

Holy fuck that blog is so fucking long. I should definitely write more often so the blogs will be decent to read. Right now its bullshit. Aint nobody got time to read that. But its still fun..sometimes i read my old blogs and I'm like holy shit i didn't even remember this happened. So thats good to keep track cause i have scumbag brain. 
Next time I'm gonna write something I'm gonna write when I'm well and i can put pretty photos up not like frog faced peeling shit. 
Stay tuned!

Monday, September 15, 2014

The wizard

So for now on cause i have readers all around the world i will write my post in english. Most of you speak english anyways and if not i have this TRANSLATE button on the right side of the page so you can translate it in any language you want :) cheers!

Strangest thing happened to me yesterday.. But first..lemme take a selfy

Ok so..first of all i was late to work. Cause it was sunday and we had this marathon thing going on in town and trams didn't go and the traffic was it took me for a while to get to work. Luckily i live nearby so i was just like 5 minutes late..
Then i was working work work working on my shiieeet at the shop (Skysmoke) and all the sudden some older foreign man walks in and starts talking to me in english, i would've say he was indian. Anyway. He starts saying some shit about me. Not bad things but some facts about me and asking about me and stuff. The conversation was something like that:
MAN: Hey pretty girl can i tell you something about you
ME: Well..
MAN: You are really kind and pure soul. You have a good heart. But you worry too much about things. You have 2 guys in your life who loves you. But you shouldn't trust people so easily, u trust everybody too much.
I was like..hell well hellye sounds like me but i continued to listen silently
MAN: May i ask your hand please
I gave him my hand and he gave me a little pice of paper to hold in my hand really strong
MAN: hold that piece in your hand really strong!
So i did
MAN: What is your favourite colour?
ME: Well..i like black
MAN: How many children do you have?
ME: none
MAN: How old are you?
ME: 23
MAN: open your hand now and see the paper
So i opened the paper and it was "BLACK" written there and the number "23y" which is my age
MAN: Can i ask little donation for poor children in India please
And he opened his really old and worn out wallet and showed the picture of the children. I was like fuuck fuuck i never have cash on me. I only have my etpost card on me when i go to work. So i tried to explain him that i really don't have money on me.
ME: Im really so so sorry but i only have my etpost card i don't have cash on me..
MAN: Noo..noo you lying
ME: No i really don't have money i can show you
And i showed him my wallet with no cash in it
MAN: Well take it from your work cashbox
ME: Im really sorry but I'm not allowed to do that. I will get in trouble.
MAN: Good luck with your life!
Then the guy shacked my hand and left.

I was kind of buzzed out of this situation. I felt so shit that i couldn't help him. Altho i thought that was  probably just a fraud to get money from credulous people.
Then i settled down and i was like..well fuck it..cant help everybody. Then some shit started to happened at work. Like i had some situations i didn't know how to solve. And then afterwork my cash didn't match. Never happened before..
And the last drop was when i walked home. And i live near the supermarket and i was yea i want gonna go get watermelon. So i did. And when i get in front of the shop there was like 5 guys fighting with one other guy. I went there to sort this shit out. Cause i still felt shit i couldn't help this Indian man so i thought i need to do some good deed of the day. So yea i step into that fight and asked these guys to stop beating up that other guy. Almost got beaten up myself. Then i ran into the shop start calling cops. Went out again and asked the guy if he was alright and does he needs an ambulance. He seemed like a junkie cause he had ugly marks on his arms and he smelled funny but it doesn't matter he's still a person and there's no rights that some "football team" can beat one hopeless hobo up like that. He wanted me to call i did.
I asked him why these guys were beating him and he says:
"oh some old dept"
Then there was some other 2 guys who ran after these fist heroes and brought one back and started asking him why the fuck they beat up that poor guy and he was like:
"He killed our friend!"
I was like wooow thats some deep shit i got into myself..then the guy continued yelling:
"You killed my friend! You gave him overdose!"
Fuck at that point i was like holy shit I'm probably dead now cause i called the cops to some criminal who probably lives nearby to me. Shit fuck! Well the cops came and asked my documents and other people documents who were there to witness the situation. When they got that under control i asked am i allowed to go home now and they were like yea of course thanks plapla. So i start walking home. I live just around the corner from the supermarket. And when i walked home i saw these other guys who were beating this guy up but got away. They were just behind the shop and when they saw me they start chase me. I ran home but they saw what house i went in to. When i got home i locked the doors and i didn't put the light. I went to the bathroom and just sat there and then had a shower and maybe hour later i was brave enough to put the lights on. Haha. What a ratshit story. I really hope i will not see these people ever again!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Hate the sin, love the sinner

Once again I'm forced to write another post about "MOST PEOPLE ARE CUNTS"
Well. As you might know about my Instagram posts people might have a little misunderstanding about all the naked and topless photos. Or they just like "PAH PAH U SLUT U DUMB NIGGA U  NO BRAINED UGLY AS MOIN BITCH BOING"
Well you know what i have to say to you?
I think you all can go fuck yourself! So if i take little more erotic photos of myself than maybe any other girl it means I'm a bad person or that I'm empty minded and dumb? Well you motherfuckers don't have any ideas what I've been trough and how much I've seen in life
You remind me of a racing horse who have blinkers covering his eyes. You just see what you wanna see and i actually think that you are dumb, if you had another would be lonely and i feel really sorry for you. Like really sorry that u don't have something else going on in your lives that u waste your time hating me ://
You know that my posts are privet and if you fucking think I'm ugly or slutty or fat or dumb and stupid and what so ever then please. be smart enough not to follow me u worthless piece of small minded bitch.
Oh i think you would love me if i would put videos up of myself doing "ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE" i think that is fucking serious attention seeking going on there. Im just trying to make the world better place. And I'm sorry to say that but i don't really appreciate my fellow estonians who are just too small minded and conservative and so stuck to the old times..everything different or new you do is WRONG. DISGRACE! AAAH! OMG WHAT WE GONNA DO SHE FUCKING SHOWED HER COVERD BOOBS!!!!!
Go to the fucking beach when its summer. There's heaps of people tanning topless for fuck sakes. or wearing little g-string bikinis. But when i do that its soooo fucking slutty that u wanna fucking murder me ae. haha
I really feel Marilyn Monroe too…cause she was hated too cause of her "sexpom" glory.
Do you know what Joan Rivers mom always said to her? "When you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all" but actually i don't mind. It makes me laugh and it motivates me to be even more unacceptable :)
Diversity enriches bitches.
I don't really know what you think of me. I can't really say i fucking care..cause all my friends and family knows who i actually am with or without my fucking clothes on. At least I'm not a bimbo with drawn face on. Whose best weapon is ignorance.

So you think i don't have something going on in my life than taking "naked" photos..well i go to school and I go to driving school and i work on 2 jobs and more than that I'm trying to come out with the 2015 calendar to support homeless cats and dogs in need cause i love to help when i can. And most people love to see photos of me. so why shouldn't i try to get something out of it. And I'm not selfish enough to get myself a part. It would make me happy to just help these, who can't help themselves.
So that how ugly and bad person i am.

Cheers till next time
"Hate the sin, love the sinner"
- Mahatma Gandhi

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

For all of u sad c*unts out there :)

NB! Before u start reading this..this shit contains high level swear words. So if u'r kiddo or just some fucking conservative fuck then stop reading ae!

I just couldn't get sleep because I'm supper exited to go to work in the morning so i started thinking about people and society and all that shit. How cunts acting up and trying to be better than someone else. Ok thats fucking ambitious but if u just being smart with someone else who's trying to chance something then settle the fuck down.
More i started thinking and more deeply i got into it, i started to get more fucking anxious and can even use the word fucking angry. Nothing usually bothers me. Im the type who deeply don't give fuck about ppl talking shit or acting like weird fucking cunts. Im usually just like "neeh..cant be bothered dealing with this shit so i better get high and enjoy life" or i just don't even bother listening or reading or hearing the fucking problem.
That doesn't mean I'm fucking reckless cunt. No fucking way. I fucking do care when someone close to me have bad times..i fucking cry when i read from the paper someone got killed. I faking wanna stab someone when i hear that some kid or animal has been treated badly.
I donate money for kids and animals regularly..
Well thats really deep and all that yea but coming back from all that cry out loud shit..i still can't fucking believe these cunts out there who just can't back the fuck up and live their lives. Do you have like a fucking board with these little stars on your fridge that u get a little golden star every time u say something mean or bad to someone? If u don't like something about someone..ok i appreciate when u straight up cunt and honest..about something i ask your opinion. But why the fuck on earth u need to comment and belittle and shit on everything someone is doing or saying or trying to become or trying to be.
It usually makes me fucking laugh out loud how sad these cunts are who are fucking so smarts about everything. They think they know everything and they walk around like the own the place. Well here's the newsflash for u cuntface. I FUCKING DONT CARE WHAT U KNOW ABOUT SHIT BEFORE I ASK FOR YOUR OPINION.

And all these young ppl trying to work so fucking hard for future. That's all really nice and i don't say there's something wrong with it. But fuuckin hell ppl. Take some time to enjoy your life and travel and do stuff not fucking finish your school and university and then sit behind the dest your whole life..fuck thats how this miserable cuntofomia is coming from. Negative gives birth to negative.
And omg almost forgot to mention about these bitches saying if i show maybe more skin than regular person on Facebook or instagram then i probably don't have personality. We'll fuck i do and i fucking love who i am and even if i don't then i don't even fucking have to..cause i have these great pair of boobs..and when ppl hire me for work..first thing they don't look my personality..ofcours first impression is how u look and if thats fine then u have time and opportunity to prove yourself and show your personality and skills which are great in my case anyway..haha.
Fuuucking haaaate these jelly bitches screaming and bitching around when someone is brave enough to  be different and confident and not so uptight like u. For fuck sakes take a chill bill and fucking enjoy your life. Why u wasting your precious life for hating and annoying everybody with your shit you judgemental fuck.
Agghr there's so much more i wanna say how cunts most people are but fuck all..who gets it know what i mean and what kind of people I'm talking about.

Birthday or my case birth week

Oh oh oh..ei teagi millets alustada. Võib olla sellest, et ma täna olen esimest korda kodus üle nädala. Lahkusin ma kodust siis eelmisel kolmapäeval. Ega ma ainult ei pidutsenud. Nagu enamik teist kindlasti arvab. Kuid see väide pole ka täiesti vale.
Kolmapäeval oli selline suhteliselt produktiivne päev. Õllesummer algas ja sellega seoses oli ka minul oma osa seal. Pidin siidrit libistama ja tore olema ja kinkekaarte ja ühekordseid e-sigarette jagama. See tuli mul üsna hästi välja. Või noh. Ma ise arvan nii vähemalt.

Kolmapäeva õhtu läks meil vähe lappesse. Meil oli õlleka lõpuks päris hea teamwork et neid telke lukku saada. Olime 8kesi ja kui õllekas ütleme et kell 1 lõppes siis mõned meist jõudsid koju alles kella neljast :D haha. Tublid tublid poisid.
Ütleme nii et neljapäev oli sama. Mingeid erilisi muutusi pold. Või ei mäleta vähemalt et oleks miskit erilisemat juhtunud. Olin jälle õllekal ja peale seda oma kalli Henri juures kuna ta oli home alone terve nädal siis ma mõtlesin et no vähe lamp siia kaugele Peetrikülla koju ajada end kui saab ka Henri juures kesklinnas kõik vajalikud asjad aetud.
Reede aga see eest oli suhteliselt produktiivne päev jällegist. Siis ma õllekal ei pidanud olema kuna mu sünnipäev oli!
Ärkasin siis reede hommikul hirmsa kõhuvaluga siis kui Henri hommikul tööle läks. Mõtlesin et jätan üldse ära selle ürituse, kuna ma tundsin end ikka väga rängalt.
A siis kui ma juba kell 11 jalad alla sain muutus olukord veidike paremaks. Läksin käisin kodus Peetris. Pesin kasin vahetasin riided ja siis tagasi linna. Linnas oli mul ikka mehemoodi käimist ja sebimist.
Käisin Protestis, maksin oma jookide eest ära, et nad ikka teaks et õhtul on pidu tulemas. Et ma ülli ei laseks vms.
Siis käisin Martini soovitusel Nara kohvikust ja ossin paar kringlit. Ja siis oli aeg hakata mõtlema söökide peale. God damn mul tuli poes meelde et ma ei oska süüa teha. Ja siis mõtlesin et no viilutada ma ikka oskan ja viinamarju tiku otsa panna. Ja siis nii ma tegingi. Ostsin no rämedalt fruite ja marju ja kõike köögivilju ja jutte. Ainus asi mille ma ise valmistasin oli guacamole dip. Ja sellepeale öeldi ka et mage veits. :D haha. Nii et kukkus välja kõik hästi üldjuhul.

Sünnipäev ise oli noo ütleme et no komments kuna maitea ju..endast võin rääkida aga teisi asjaosalisi ei segaks sinna :D Vabandust muidugi neile kellega ma pikemat juttu teha ei saanud. Niitore oli kõiki näha keda pold aastaid näinud ja loodan uuesti varsti catch uppida kuna jah mu sünnal ma rohkem trippisin ringi ja hämasin kõigiga veits aga kuna oli ikka liitrites pooli ja kümneid shotte kõrist alla läind siis ega ma väga adekvaatne polnud.
Sain hästi toredad kingid kõik. Kõik mu sõbrad/tuttavad tunnevad mind liigagi hästi. Kuna kõik kingid olid väga praktilised ja nilbed :D haha
Sain ühe päris tuusa sadomaso piitsa sünnaks millega ma kõiki sünnal ja niisama baaris olevaid inimesi whippisin. Suht tüütu tegelane.

Ja siis sai veel muside eest tasuta shotte ja no siis edasise ma jätan enda teada.
Järgmisel päeval ma pidin jälle kella neljaks vinksvonks valmis olema et Õllesummeril head nägu teha.
Aga kuna laupäeval oli siuke suht jahekas ilm ja ei saanud kleidiga ringi käia ja käisin hoopis drifti teami särgi nokaga ja retuusidega. Siis kõigile see drifti värk läks päris hästi peale ja niipaljud tahtsid muga koos pilte teha. Maladetz maladetz.
Pühapäev aga pold sugugi vaiksem päev.. Teele ütles et ta peab alles teisipäeval kell 4 tööl olema et teeks miskit. Kuna me mõlemad juba teame et kui me miskit koos ette võtame siis sellest kujuneb tsükkel.
Nii saigi. Pühapäeval tõi Henri mind mu lillede ja kinkidega koju ma pesin end puhtaks ja sõin veits ja juba sammusin linna poole tagasi. Läksi nteele juurde. Ostsime 3 pudelit veini ja hakkasiem jalkat vaatama. Ma ausalt ei mäleta mängust suurt kuna meie olemine möödus rohkem niimoodi

Tublid türukud. Peale seda kolme pudelit veini me kutsusime takso ja läksime linna. Maiteagi kas enne või taksost välja astudes läks mu king katki. Nii et rihm tuli tallaküljest ära ja king ei püsinud hästi jalas. algul ma arvasin küll et jaja saan hakkama küll. A siis hakkasin siiski vibama suht. Läksime protestist läbi, et ehk saame teipi või kuidagi ära parandada seda. See kutt seal üritas klambripüssi ja teibi ja kõigega. Sai vist kinni mõneks ajaks aga ikkagi ei old püsiv. Peale seda me läksime Mardi juurde Katusekohvikusse kuna ta oli tööl ja hakkas lõpetama suht ja pidi meiega Venusesse tulema. Siis Mart tõmmas mu kinga mingi sinise teibiga kinni ümber jala :D nii et nüüd oli võimatu et see üldse veel kunagi mu jalast ära tuleb.
Nüüdseks oli kindel et kõik saab ainult paremuse poole minna. Millegi pärast on nii et venuses läheb alati kuidagi käest ära ja me alati suudame väga nõmedalt seal käituda ja ei old erand seegi kord. Mind ähvardati korduvalt välja viskamisega ja Teele oleks seal mingi meestega kaklema hakand kuna need käitusid veits rõvedalt. Jne. Siuke legendaarne Venuse õhtu. Nek minnet ma kõndisin viru tänavalt Protesti poole with no shoes on. Teine king läks ka katki mingi hetk ja no siis ma liht jätsin need tänavale ja läksin jala edasi. Fugg it. Protesti jõudes oli see juba kinni aga seal oli paaar semu ja joinisin nendega. Tegime üht teist viina viskamist ja jalutasime mingit koera. Käisime muulil ja ma olin terve aeg palja jalu. Terve linna käisin paljajalu läbi. Talllad on siiamaani hellad.
Esmaspäeval võttis Teele mind Tõnisega peale ja läksime perekondlikule väljasõidule Nelijärvele. Ega muidugi esimese asjana me läksime poest läbi et mõned siidrid osta. Mida ma öelda oskan…Pleesitasiem päris kaua seal Nelikal ja siis Koju jõudes tegi Tõnis meile veel eriti spetsi õhtusöögi. Elu tundus nagu lill.

Täna nüüd lõpuks olen ma kodus üle pika pika aja. Ja voodis ja lebos. Mõtlen et ei teegi midagi. Ootan Teelet töölt ja siis me lääme perekondlikule rulluisutamisele vist. Respect Tõnisele kes meid välja kannatab ja meie nokkimisi. Hahaha.